I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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