After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
