He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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