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We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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