But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
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I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
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I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.