He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him