he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Watching her eat just hurts me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
