Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and she was petting her beer can
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
