Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
