This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
