I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
