I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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