It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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