I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
