he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
