So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
