He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
