How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
