At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Everclear isn't food dammit
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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