Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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