I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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