Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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