There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
