he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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