I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
