I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
