thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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