What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?