O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Four minutes until I can fart!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots