Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
