He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You are a genius and a whore.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
