I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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