u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
