Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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