I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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