You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i was born a porn star she said
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
