K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
