I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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