I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
