You just made me feel so damn special
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
