so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
