if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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