I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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