You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
