I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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