I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
