let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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