There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
