it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
