it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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