Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
