This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
