why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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