Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
