so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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