Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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