Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just found puke in my bra..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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