happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize