Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
