this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
