dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just puked most of my soul out..
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