The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
