If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We had to coat check the pizza.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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