I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
